Manners 101
Teaching children manners can sometimes be tricky… especially older children with disabilities like autism and Down syndrome. Leading a group of twenty high school students with varying abilities, I am often limited on kitchen possibilities as well. But one of the students in my class made a perfect suggestion, “Ms. Murray, let’s have a tea party!” I jumped on this not only because I enjoy a nice cup of tea, but because I saw it as a perfect opportunity to practice good manners.
For the food: the day before the party some of the students and I made small cookies called haystacks (recipe to follow). We made them bite size so that they could be served on our buffet. This way each student felt that they were a part of creating the upcoming tea party. These cookies are no bake, which makes them perfect to whip up with a group of adolescents with short attention spans. In addition to the cookies I purchased butter mints and other small candies to be served in bowls at the buffet.
For the table: the students, with some guidance, pushed our tables together and set them for all twenty of the students in the class to participate. Napkins, silverwear, saucers, and cups were placed at each seat. The student then set all of the finger foods out on another table as the buffet. They formed a line and gathered the goodies they desired with prompting not to take too much, as there would not be enough for all of their classmates if they did. A good life lesson for all buffets: no overindulgence. As they took their seats, I walked around to each student as they held out their faux china cups to be filled with strawberry tea.
For the manners: each student used this opportunity to practice good manners. We coached each student to ask their neighbor to pass the cream or sugar, use their napkins, and say please and thank you. From no yelling across the table to not shoving all of their food in their mouth at once, each student behaved surprisingly well! They all knew that this was a special occasion that we had taken time to prepare. Their involvement in the cooking and setting up of the event caused them to have a sense of pride: no one wanted to ruin it with poor manners!
While the tea itself was not the biggest hit, with only about half of the students actually liking it, the outcome of the party was impressive. All students cleaned up their places at the table, threw away their trash, rinsed and placed their dishes into the dishwasher, and helped wipe down the tables and chairs after. Making an event special and getting their input made them want to make the event a success.
Haystacks:
2 cups butterscotch chips
2 cups chow mein noodles
Line cookie sheet with waxed paper. Place butterscotch chips in microwave safe bowl. Heat for 1 minute, stir, repeat for 30 seconds and stir if needed. Continue heating in 30 second increments until chips are melted. Stir chow mein noodles to butterscotch and stir until coated. Spoon by tablespoonful onto cookie sheet. Refrigerate until firm (1 hour).
